Happy Wheels [Productivity Killer]

These wheels are happy for death.

There used to be an embeded media player here, but it doesn't work anymore. We blame the Tumbeasts.

(Get ready to be disturbed.)

Is Monday finding you in a bit of lag? Or perhaps you just finished the latest Mashcast and now you need a pick me up. Well, I have the oddest thing that might do the trick. A browser game by the name of Happy Wheels. It’s a side-scrolling racing game, I suppose, with an extreme amount of death.

I played as Santa, who used elves as his reindeer; I saw terrible things happen to those elves. They died in some of the most ridiculous ways, and I don’t regret it. For such small beings, they can be destroyed in so many ways. It was a true delight. Jim Bonacci, the creator, says it’s a game about feelings. What kind of feelings? I would say shock and laughter.

The point of the game is to get to the other side without being trampled by a tractor or getting caught in some over-sized bear trap. You can play as different characters (very “different”), from an old man in a wheelchair or a hefty black man on a John Deere tractor, to a businessman on a segway. Each level has a fairly basic design with few things on the track and in the background; except that everything in the level can kill you. When it does kill you, it rips you to shreds and scatters pieces of your body and mode of transportation all over the place. The controls mirror a fine-tuned version of QWOP. If you haven’t played QWOP, that means the controls are pretty terrible. But they create a challenge and ultimately keep you coming back.

Basically, you’ll not find a more demented type of enjoyment that might have others questioning your morals than Happy Wheels. Those people just don’t know how to have any fun, though. You can play it in your browser over at Totaljerkface.com or download it to your computer here (I have no idea if this is virus ridden so take caution.) Add a little Happy to your day.

Katie Horstman
Katie Horstman
Katie Horstman

Staff Writer

Katie has always had a connection to games and was able to make Super Mario Bros. a motion game before Nintendo even thought of the Wii. She has a serious addiction; an illness if you may, of loving ridiculous games. She has been through an extensive digital rehabilitation, but we fear her addiction is surfacing again.

The Latest from Mash

Squad Goals #78: CSI: Nexus
December 19th, 2024

Murder was the case they gave Nilken but did he deserve it? Also, we check in on the rest of the Nexus post-Eos mission.