Wondrous Tails

Our third of an unknown number of episodes on the Dawntrail main story, spoiler-filled, covering level 93 quests.

Focused on spoiler-heavy discussion of the Dawntrail main story. We cover up to about the middle of level 92 here.

An initial foray into Dawntrail's story, with spoilers aplenty. Also some salt about Mountain Dew.

Discussing our impressions of Dawntrail Early Access and overall launch. Spoiler-free episode!

It's our last episode of horsing around in Endwalker as we eagerly await Dawntrail and count the days.

Mostly we're chatting about the job changes announced in the live letter. We're also Baja Blasted.

Kristen returns and we finally get some news! Dawntrail is coming, sooner than we expected!

We’re welcoming new Xbox friends while speculate about upcoming announcements we’re anticipating.

A grab bag of topics ranging from early pulling to getting stranded for a day in Frankfurt.

We're recapping 2023, just a little bit late. Lots patches and drama to reminisce about in this one. Also spoilers.

Spoiler-filled chat about the 6.55 story quests and Hildibrand! Also, spice must flow.

All the news from the 2024 JP FanFest.

We pulled out one last 2023 episode! It's a smorgasbord of topics, both in XIV and out.

We're discussing the patch 6.51 launch and the announcements at the European Fan Festival!

We're mostly talking about our reactions to the 6.5 patch story / MSQ. Lots of spoilers!

Mostly discussing the 79th Live Letter and patch 6.5

We’re just talking about random stuff this episode, mostly.

Mostly discussing the US Fanfest's Live Letter, and also spendin' cash on the cash shop.

Back from vacation! We're talking about all things 2023 Fanfest and keynote. No Live Letter this episode.

We're focusing on patch 6.4's main scenario story. Lots of spoilers in this one. Also holes.

We're talking about (and spoiler warning for) non-MSQ 6.4 stuff: islands, fishing, raids, etc.

All about the 77th Live Letter and the lady version of Gilgamesh

We're mostly talking about our ongoing adventures on our alts, with a brief check-in on the Reddit Discourse.

The crew decided to alt it up this episode and talk about their new/old experiences with playing story for the 39th time.

Live Letter 76 and also some weird discussions, as usual.

We're talking all about patch 6.35 things. Also forbidden glamour dyes. Ew.

We're talking about the Fanfest 2023 ticketing announcements, plus a grab bag of discourse about mods, islands, and more.

We're talking all about our experiences in patch 6.3. Story spoilers within.

Mostly discussing the latest live letter and the patch 6.3/6.35 announcements. Also PvP

It's been a year of Endwalker and so we're doing the obligatory year in review, but with a twist.

All about the latest live letter. Also Nophica.

We're discussing all the doings and transpirings of patch 6.25 while we wait for 6.28.

We did our best, but an hour was all we could muster. We're chattin' about the 14 hour Live Letter though!

We're talking about the 6.2 raid story and the good father/son bonding adventures within.

It's our last amusingly numbered episode for a while. We're mostly talking 6.2, and anecdotes. Minimal dalmations.

Our 100th episode spectacular is spectacularly focused on patch 6.2 Almost no spoilers for story content.

It's our fourth anniversary and 99th episode. Woo! We talked about waiting for 6.2 while ... waiting for 6.2.

We're talking about the (latest) hoopla around third party tools and also those cute new 'l2p' vids!

We're down a host and just sort of chatting our way through the wait for 6.2. Mostly moogle tomes.

We're mostly discussing the news from the latest live letter, but yes we also will cover the billboard fiasco.

We're waiting for 6.18 and a new live letter, so we discussed PvP and a bunch of other stuff instead!

We're discussing all the patch 6.15 things that are fit to, er, pod.

We're talking, mostly, about patch 6.1's story. Also just a little bit about third party tools.

Our patch 6.1 highlights episode. We're kind of into PvP right now.

The final part of our (really) deep dive into the Endwalker expansion's main story.

After two live letter fueled episodes our second to last story deep dive episode for the Endwalker expansion is here!

All about the nice new live letter, we've got every bit of patch 6.1 news that's fit to podcast!

We're breaking from Endwalker recap because the 68th Live Letter had a ton to talk about.

Part four of our Endwalker deep dive. Full of spoilers, so beware! Covers levels 85-87 (ish).

Part three of our Endwalker story deep dive. Spoilers abound for levels 83-85 story. Also thirst.

We're doing a spoiler heavy story discussion of Endwalker levels 82+83!

Our first of several episodes deep diving into the Endwalker story.

Our first Endwalker episode! Spoiler free early impressions and queue chat.

In our last Shadowbringers episode, we're focused on the future and Endwalker, which is just days away!

Our second-to-last episode before Endwalker is (mostly) about Square's TOS updates. Also salt.

We discuss the media tour and are impatiently awaiting Endwalker release.

We discuss the last few things we want to get done before Endwalker release.

All things Live Letter LXVI! It's a little longer than usual, but that just means more fun to be had!

A smorgasbord of community topics, real life houses, and some light sale shopping.

Our third anniversary episode! That's pretty cool! We honestly just chat the whole time about ... stuff.

A smorgasbord of topics! Primals! Fishing! The ceaseless march of time! Witness protection?!

We touch on the minor 5.58 patch and talk a lot about all our new players!

We chat about Live Letter 63, big streamer energy, and awkwardly timed holiday events.

Three girls, two patches, one expansion. Come hear us be salty about Bozja and be super excited about Island Sanctuary!

A spoiler-full overview on our favorite parts of the 5.55 relic and story!

Our thoughts and reactions to the 2021 Fan Festival. With rabbits!

We discuss a wide host of topics from mount prices to the new story content in patch 5.5.

Our first week with patch 5.5 is in, and we discuss many of the additions. Spoilers for NieR/weapon quests within.

We've got lots of energy for the latest Live Letter and also excitement about Ocean Fishing for some reason!

We've got alliance raid tips and some commentary on store merch in this episode.

We've got a light episode discussing the new Moogle tomestones and some other random game tidbits while we wait for patch 5.5.

We're here with our second episode from the giant event in early February, this time discussing all the details of patch 5.5!

The Endwalker announcement is official and we've got all the details and reactions you crave.

We wrap up the Ishgard restoration seasons and talk about what's coming in the big virtual event on February 5th!

Happy New Year! We're making somewhat educated guesses about what lies ahead in 2021 for Final Fantasy XIV! Also we goof off a lot in this one. It's fun!

It's an all spoilers episode as we discuss our trip through the story parts of patch 5.4.

We cover all things patch 5.4! New raids! New dungeon! New ... ways to pose in said dungeon, we suppose.

We gathered together for a discussion of all things Live Letter LXI (66) as we look forward to patch 5.4 next week.

We wanted to check out the club scene in FFXIV. It did not go as planned, but it was still a weird and funny ride.

A somewhat belated discussion of all the news from the Producer's Live Letter 60.

It's the (latest) salt episode! Hot takes, housing chat, and Bozja grinding all feature prominently.

For this episode we bring you our predictions for the next couple patches! Beware, light housing discussion contained within. Also some brief Genshin In-chat.

We totally remembered everything that happened in the 5.3 story and talk about our thoughts on this episode! Come listen to us say goodbye to the First storyline.

We locked Lili in a closet for this episode so Kristen and Pan could reminisce about Square's first MMO, Final Fantasy XI. Mostly we talk about grind, but... good grind?

We've spent most of the last two weeks playing all the hot new 5.3 content and we discuss that in this episode. Light spoilers for the NieR raid only.

5.3 came out! We talked about it (spoiler free)! Also it's our big 50th episode and we've got a big (bird) giveaway!

We bring you a nice big episode breaking down all the exciting news from the 59th Live Letter. Please join us in our excitement!

We bring you another episode in the wait for the next patch (5.3) where we make some more predictions and talk about in-game macros and their uses.

We talk about a year of Shadowbringers, what we're filling our time with, and make some pretty baseless predictions about when 5.3 is finally coming out.

Fan fest got cancelled and we're really sad, but we make it up by getting weirdly spiritual about repetitive tasks. Finally, we top it off with a discussion of hunt trains.

It's a slow period for the game so we took some time for a pretty informal chat about what we're all up to and how we're all doing. We keep it lighthearted so come take a load off.

A sampling of tips and suggestions for all the new and returning players wrapped in tales of woe from bad dungeon experiences and a discussion of the new Moogle tomestone rewards.

3/4 hosts recommend you use this time to catch up on the Crystal Tower quests; 4/4 hosts recommend you listen to this podcast. Time to rant about all things on the most recent live letter.

Are you ready for more mentor roulette stories? Because Pan is. Come listen to us be sad about not being able to grind out relic content while Pan is slowly losing his sanity to the (de)mentors.

Are you bored? Well so are we! From mentor roulettes to dog farming, we’re doing our best to keep ourselves and you entertained!

Time to distract you from the real world again. We finally talk about Eden story and Ruby Weapon EX with a sprinkle of rubble from the Ishgard Restoration. Culinarians Adjust and listen to this ep!

Our missing host is back and our spoiler hiatus is over. Come listen to us chat about 5.2 and be extra salty about various things, including sick children.

Some of us are a bit salty, but 5.2 is amazing! Come hear the salt filled raid rant along with all the non-storyline filled review of the newest and greatest patch.

We summarize the 4 hour Live Letter into a 1 hour chat. We talk about how Yoshida is now everyone's dad and how awesome 5.2 is going to be. Please look forward to the umbrellas!

Now that our 2019 review is over it’s back to business as usual. Come listen to us meme for almost a full hour. Mogtomes are a lie. #Bert2020.

It’s the conclusion to our 2019 retrospective! We continue our look back with the release of 5.0 that we kind of remember better than 4.5.

New year new episode! Do you remember what happened in 2019? We didn't, so we decided to jump back in time and toss out a recap. Come try to remember what happened in 4.5 with us.

Happy Starlight season everyone! Please enjoy our reactions to the newest Live Letter while discussing butt sliders for 30 minutes.

We discuss our favorite topic this week, patches! Will Blue Mage and PVP actually be exciting? Will 5.2 have a relic weapon with refreshing content? Will hunt trains be around forever?

We heard you like patches, so here’s some more patches for your patches. We talk about all things 5.1x and get a bit salty along the way.

It’s another post-patch round up episode! Feels like we do these every three or four months huh? No story spoilers yet but we’ve got lots to say about the rest of 5.1!

We have an extra host this week to talk about the preliminary 5.1 notes. Stop on by and listen while you're stuck at work and not able to play!

As 5.0 comes to an end, we discuss the unknown of 5.1 and if it will include bullet hells and mechs dropping into our apartments.

Irregular philosophy. Geese. Robots from a dystopian future. Honk.

The Tres Au'Ra Au'Ra dance squad is coming in hot this week! After we talk about our new dancing passion, we take a swift Technical Step into the newest Live Letter.

Happy Anniversary! We have super important conversations this episode about fishing, bad (or better?) titles for this episode, taking clothes off, Jeff Bridges, the Mog Station, horses, and more!

We've got some post-game goodness for your beautiful ears. Listen to us complain about unskippable cutscenes and have fun running through Rapture! There might also be something about swimming pools?

This is the final episode of our Shadowbringers 5.0 MSQ deep dive. Come listen to us complain about not enough deaths and question how blind Y'shtola actually is.

We bring our discussion from Rak'tika to Kholusia in this story deep dive episode. Come hear the hot takes and heartbreaks of these emotional 5 levels of MSQ.

It’s time to talk Shadowbringers! We talk about story from level 70 through the end of 73 and try not to drop any spoilers for after that point. We also talk about cool changes about our jobs and some tips to help you level up!

Hello Shadowbringers! We solemnly swear there are no spoilers, just a lot of excitement. Let us get you pumped in those sad times when you can’t be in-game.

Goodbye Shadowblood! Or was it Stormbringers? Why is this so difficult to remember?? We discuss what we liked and what could have been better with 4.X and our hopes and dreams going forward with 5.0.

We have sabotenders, rottweilers, and.. Chipmunks? We have a very successful couple of weeks full of sights and lifted embargos.

We pretend we have bad microphones like the producers do and break down what stuck out to us from the live letter.

Pan is back from his boat adventures, we break our format to give some important news, and ask the real question, “how the heck are they wearing glasses?”

Now that we’re done with story, events, and various goals that we definitely accomplished, what is there left to do? Come find out in this episode!

Here we are at the final fanfest of the season. We discuss everything SB2 (not ShB) and the hot takes that followed the keynote.

TOSs on your Aetheryte Earrings and level up in our not late episode, REPORTED! Join us in your favorite treehouse as we discuss the TOS, Hydatos, Gardening, and more!

The second Fanfest happened, and all our dreams came true! We discuss what other things we would like for Fanfest 3, and catch up on what we (and others) are catching up on before SB2.

Our 4.5 story spoiler free episode! We explain why you should always go left, and talk about our goals before 5.0.

It’s our first end of the year spectacular! We talk about ghosts of patches past, present, and future. Happy holidays everyone!

Come one, come all, to a wondrous trip to Fanfest! We get all the juicy deets first-hand from Pan.

We break down the latest relic weapon stage we’re too lazy to do, discuss wascally wabbits, and talk about soup from a burrito place?

We hit you with all the spooks and scares of lost connections, endgame crafting, and people getting overly upset about stuff on the internet!

There was a wedding. A demon might have been summoned. Also we talk parsers, crafting, and whether all Namazu are boys.

Let’s enjoy 4.4 as we move Four Point Fourward! We discuss the new story and raids, and start a deep dive into crafting and gathering jobs. Also our most successful “pronounce that NPC” round ever!

In this episode we talk about some awesome quality of life changes to the inventory and new search options, and the rumor about the new job coming out in 4.4 (Blue Mage, whaaaaat?). We also touch on some speculations about the next expansion.

Our first episode! Pagos, bad jokes, and an errant dog flapping in the breeze.